Abbi Hearne favorites posts of the year on instagram | 2019 @abbihearne + @thehearnes round up
It’s no secret that instagram is my go-to place to share my thoughts on everything from life on the road, my personal struggles and successes, friendships, my family, and a lot more. I started doing an end of the year round up last year and really loved going through my posts to find my favorite ones! I hope you enjoy this too!
January 2, 2019 | Austin, Texas [Photo: Moab, Utah]
We were all sitting around Monday night when we realized it was 11:58pm. My mom and brother jumped up to grab some champagne and glasses and they made it back to the living room just in time for us to cheers at midnight. It was silly, rather un-festive as we all laughed and celebrated the arbitrary turn of the new year. We went on to make some pancakes for fun, and before we knew it we’d been up for two hours talking, watching videos, and reflecting on the past year. I high-fived my Dad for making it to 2019, something that felt unlikely when his diagnosis came in July.
The thing about cancer is you don’t get used to it. It doesn’t become normal, it still sucks as much as (even more than) when we learned it was here. At the same time, it’s difficult to remember what life was like before it.
The thing about “terminal” cancer is it breaks every rule. Every decency, every expectation. It isn’t a grief you get to grow and recover and get distance from. They say time heals grief, but what about when time brings you closer to a finish line you don’t ever want to see. A finish line that threatens to be around the corner, but could be in years, but could be in days, but you wish would never come, at least not yet. But doctors and professionals and people you trust say that line is close. But they also say, maybe not. We don’t know.
Maybe I’m too type-a. Maybe this is bringing out my own issues with lack of control. It’s certainly humbling. You see, without the timeline I still have no control. But for some reason this timeline, it gives even less control. It brings even more grief.
But, despite the initial diagnosis of a few months left, we made it to 2019. And we have hope. Fear and grief, yes. But also hope. Maybe we’ll be high-fiving a few minutes into 2020. #dadstrickland
January 25, 2019 | Grindlewald, Switzerland
You guys, SWITZERLAND 😍 Oh my goodness. We have been here for two full days and already explored so many amazing places!!! I have so many stories to tell and thoughts to share, but right now we’re exhausted and ready for bed (it’s 9:45pm here) 😴 so here’s a photo of us with the EIGER looking majestic as ever. Head to my stories to see more of what we’ve been up to!
January 28, 2019 | Zermatt, Switzerland
Some thoughts.
I realize my story today (and posts and everything since we arrived) might make it seem like this trip has been dreamy and seamless and 100% bliss. I always do my best to keep it real on here, so I want to clarify that yes, this trip has been awesome. We’re seeing things we’ve only dreamed of previously, we’re eating some delicious foods and exploring wonderful places and having a lot of fun moments! But we’re not perfect travelers. We’re not perfect travel partners. We often disagree on what to do with our days, we disagree on how to spend our money, where to park, where to eat, what shoes to be wearing, and all kinds of big and little things. Doing this “van life” style has a lot of advantages, but it’s also really difficult and nothing like the van life we’re used to in the States. We intentionally left our itinerary very open and flexible, which has been fun at times, but also super frustrating at times when we are sitting in an amazing place wondering “what do we do?” and stressing that we’re wasting our precious time here.
I could go on, and most of you know me well enough to know this is NOT meant to be complaining or ungrateful. I am SO thankful for this trip, for Callen, for the opportunities we have in the life we’ve built. This trip has been incredible, and we still have so many days to look forward to! I just know that sometimes insta can make it seem like we’re living a perfect life over here, and I want to dismantle that whenever possible. So, here’s me saying; I am happy we’re doing this and this trip is awesome, but please don’t allow yourself to feel like what we have or what we’re doing is perfect.
I’ll end with this: if you look at my stories, you’ll see we did a relaxing fancy spa day which is not the type of thing we’d typically do (you can often find Callen laying down in a muddy hot spring for a desperate soak) but we decided together it was a worthwhile splurge (plus we needed showers) and I can say that portion of the trip was near perfect and I’m super thankful for the chill day and clean hair and bottomless rosé 😜
February 1, 2019 | Zermatt, Switzerland
In the past two weeks, we’ve driven over 2500km, through six countries, over countless sketchy mountain passes, through sunny weather and nuking snow. We’ve taken trams to the tops of mountains, post-holed through deep powder, hopped on trains, soaked in glorious hot tubs, eaten cheese in Switzerland, crepes in France and pizza in Italy and consumed enough bread and espresso to last the rest of the year. We’ve cruxed out on toll roads and food orders and following directions in a bunch of languages we don’t understand.
It’s been incredible and frustrating and freeing and exhausting. Each time we travel, we learn so much more. We get a little better at it. We get humbled and remember how much effort it takes to simply exist in a place that’s foreign to us.
But despite the challenges, I am so thankful we keep going for it. We’d never get better without going. We’d never see these places if we waited for it to be easy. If we waited for the obvious, perfect timing. So, when cheap flights come up and we can make it happen in our schedule, I hope we keep choosing to go for it. I’ve never regretted seeing more corners of the world with this guy by my side. I can’t wait to see where we’ll go next ☺️
February 14, 2019 | Canadian Rockies
TEN YEARS OF CHARLIE 🎉 Happy birthday to the best little adventure buddy I’ve ever known. When I convinced my parents to get me a puppy for my 15th birthday, I had so many dreams of him joining me for my high school and college graduations, I hoped he’d be there for my wedding, and be by my side for all the major life events along the way. I am so so thankful to have had him along for so much more than I could have imagined. From the streets of Giddings, Texas to the mountains in Alaska and everywhere in between, this little dog has braved cold and hot, rain, snow, scary nights and wonderful days. He’s been to 17+ states and even Canada a few times. Everyone that meets him still thinks he’s a puppy. I can hardly believe he’s 10 years old, and while I’m absolutely going to have a good cry about it (already have let’s be honest), I am not too sad because this wiry little 35lb cattle dog mix surely has at least 10 more in him 🥰😘 Happy birthday Charlie. I love you forever. #abbiandcharlieforever
February 27, 2019 | Moab, Utah
Adulthood...coming in hot! 🏠
These past two months have been crazy. I can’t wait to share more + bring you guys along on this wild journey, and I’m sure you have a billion questions, but for now...I’m off to enjoy OUR OWN little slice of Moab, Utah and make this house a home! 🎉
Thank you Megan and Nate for eating Thai with us on the fold out table, bringing champagne, helping move the very few pieces of furniture we have, and taking these fun photos 🖤
March 9, 2019 | Moab, Utah
“One day when we get a house here, we’re going to get a beater Jeep and drive all the roads we haven’t been able to do yet.”
We used to say this all the time, so when the house hunt turned serious so did the Jeep hunt 😜 Callen found this beautiful ‘96 Cherokee and was smitten. We’ve joked she’s “my car” since Cal drives the truck and moto, so everyone, meet my new old Jeep! Her name is Thelma (but I promise not to drive her off a cliff) and her color could not look more perfect in this wild desert! We took her out one of our bucket list 4x4 roads yesterday and were extremely impressed. It was my first time driving off road (Callen drives us 99% of the time) and it was SO fun. I didn’t expect to love it so much but solving little problems and learning how to move over rock obstacles was so satisfying. I’m stoked on this new hobby, especially when it takes me far away from everyone to little desert spots I’ve never seen before. I think I’m a real Moab local now, I even have the Delicate Arch license plate to prove it 😉
March 12, 2019 | via Moab, Utah
Yesterday, we were in a familiar spot of desert when some people and their dogs approached. All dogs were off leash, as usual out here, and Charlie started playing with them. I was chatting with a girl I’d just met when we heard the sound of dogs fighting. It sounded playful, but after a few breaths without it stopping I ran over to see what was up. One of the dogs, a boxer, had Charlie pinned on his back in a bed of cactus and was biting him over and over. I screamed for the owner to get their dog (I was terrified it would bite me), they pulled her off, and I helped Charlie limp over to a safe spot. It was a blur. I’ve played it over in my head, feeling guilty for not jumping up sooner, not grabbing the dog off of him myself. He had such a terrified look in his eyes when I got over there.
The girl I had been talking to (@thedarlingdirtbag you’re a saint) helped me brush loose thorns from his coat. We both got them in our hands and arms, but Charlie was covered and our priority was him. The more I looked, the worse it got. The more we brushed off, the more we found beneath his fur. On his paws, his legs, his little ears, a few in his eye, and thousands hidden under the thick fur on his back. Most of them are hair-like and nearly invisible, stuck in clusters all over his body. In addition to that, I’ve pulled probably 20 large, inch thick thorns, a few of which have made him yelp and bleed. I’ve been doing “cactus sessions” with a headlamp and tweezers, letting him take breaks to lick peanut butter whenever it gets too sad. He trusts me, and despite a bit of hesitation when I sit down with the tools, he eventually lies down and lets me pick until it’s too much.
I feel helpless, but also know that every thorn I pull is one less thorn that’s hurting him. He does seem more comfortable today than yesterday, and thankfully it doesn’t seem like he has any injuries from the other dog. I know one day this will be a distant memory, but at the moment it feels like I’ll be pulling thorns forever and I can’t shake the feeling that it could have been so much worse. Logically I know this wasn’t my fault, but man. I sure wish those needles were all over me and not him 😭
March 18, 2019 | Skydive, Moab
If you listened to my interview with @cody.kaemmerlen for the Wilder Mind Podcast, you might remember I mentioned how scared I was to skydive again.
For those that don’t know, I got my license about 2.5 years ago and have made 83 jumps (which in the experienced skydiving world is not that many but is significant to me) and I’ve been pretty consistently scared of it the whole time, but it’s also brought me more joy that any other sport. The community is incredible, welcoming and inclusive, and in my experience, whether someone has 5 jumps or 5,000, they’re psyched to have me around and encourage my progression. I’ve never pushed through my anxiety so strongly as I do when I’m jumping. It’s incredibly empowering to face that fear, know I’m equipped + smart + good at this, breathe through the doubts, and jump.
Other than one jump in August, I hadn’t jumped since June, for a combination of reasons. I got news of my dad’s brain tumor the day before we were going to jump in July, and after that my fear of it really grew. I had worked up in my head so much pressure and anxiety about it, and despite spending over a month in Texas I still didn’t go jump at my home drop zone, the place I feel the most safe. As we got to Moab and started talking about jumping, getting “re-current” out here, I was really scared. But some friends encouraged me, Callen pushed me (knowing I needed it) and this weekend we went for it. I rented a bigger parachute to make sure I’d have a safe landing, and my coach was our friend Joe who helped make sure I was prepared. The long plane ride up was the hardest part, I think I had a minor anxiety attack (I don’t use this term loosely) and I had to breathe deeply to keep my chest from feeling all tight, but as soon as the door opened and the wind hit my face, I forgot the fear and stoke was high. The jump went extremely well and I came back the next day to jump two more times. I’m still scared, but much less so, and I’m so thankful to have a community that pushes me to try harder and face my fears.
We jumped this weekend, climbed today, and I’m finally feeling like we’re fully back in Moab. It’s spring and stoke is high! ☺️
April 13, 2019 | Patagonia [via Moab, Utah]
When I was young, my aunt was chronically diagnosed with scleroderma at the age of 37 despite living a relatively healthy and active life. We lived close, and while I have a few memories of her before the sickness, most of my memories are of her first amputation, and then her second, and those following that led to her living in a wheelchair with no legs, and too much pain to use prosthetics. When I’m hiking up a steep hill and want to complain, I often think of how much Aunt Linda would have loved to hike up one more hill. She had this disease for over 10 years before she passed away at the age of 50.
As most of you know, my Dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 brain cancer last July. To say it’s changed his life would be a drastic understatement and one of the things he lost was the ability to ride is bike, something he’s been doing nearly his whole life. A little over a month ago, he got himself a recumbent bike that he can still ride despite his struggles with balance and has been going on long rides independently. If you saw my story today, you even saw his trailer he uses to tow his walker!
If you’ve been following here for a bit, you might know motivation in the outdoors isn’t my strong suit and I tend to be pretty lazy when given a choice. But recently, I’ve been pushing myself past that and making an effort to get outside and try hard every day, hiking longer distances and up steeper trails, trying running and yoga and anything to move myself around. I had been crediting the motivation to the desert springtime, but after getting a text of the bike-trailer system from my dad, I’ve realized it’s much deeper. It’s from my Aunt Linda, and my understanding that working legs aren’t something to take for granted. It’s from my Dad, and the motivation to live life every day because you never know how many more there will be. And truly, it’s from the desire to know that whether I have one week or 80 years ahead of me, I used this body for joy and love and the constant pursuit of fresh air. If you’re lucky enough to have working legs, go outside today. For Linda, for #DadStrickland, for yourself.
April 14, 2019 | Moab, Utah
Honestly, I’m at a loss for words right now to describe today. I’ve wanted to stand on top of Castleton for a while and finally set the goal, put in some time getting ready and prepared, and today I got to climb it with two of the most rad climbers I know. I don’t know how I ended up convincing @cannonjtc and @markhudon to do this with me on their rest day (I told you they’re rad) but I am so thankful. I am so happy. Dream come true.
April 21, 2019 | Moab, Utah
Easter has always been my favorite Christian holiday. It might have to do with the fact that I was born on Easter (but since the date changes every year it won’t be on my birthday again until I turn 63) or because I have so many fond memories of wearing pretty dresses made by my grandma and taking photos with my brothers in the Texas bluebonnet fields after church, or because any special day that makes people spend quality time together is so sacred to me. I’m sure those all have something to do with it in their own way. But it’s also always been such a significant church service to me...to stand in a room with sometimes hundreds of people to all celebrate a 2,000 year old miracle that still means everything (literally) today...it’s pretty dang magical. These past few Easters have looked a little different than the ones I grew up with. Two years ago on Easter, we woke up on the edge of a canyon with some brand new friends that would become some of our best (@briannamadia @keithmadia 🖤) and Callen and I woke up early to talk about the story of Jesus and reflect on how different our life was now. Last year, we got to be back home for Easter and it was such a treat.
This year, Callen is skiing in SLC (so happy for him) and I got to open our house to 25 people last night, most of which I hadn’t met before they walked in, for a Passover dinner put on by my friend @sandy.russellc. It was quite magic and in some ways reminded me of home. This morning, friends came in from their vans to say hi (and tbh use the restroom), helped me clean up, and then they all went to breakfast and I took advantage of the first quiet hours I’ve had at home in a while to watch the live stream of our church back in Texas. In some way, it was the loneliest Easter service I’ve attended but I’m feeling so full and so thankful right now, and definitely not lonely.
I’ve come to realize I have no idea what the next years, weeks, or even days will hold, but right now I’m really thankful for what I’ve had this weekend and this month and this year, and I hope the future holds more of it (except for the loved one with cancer thing. that can go away please).
Happy Easter, friends 🖤
April 24, 2019 | Yosemite National Park
This week is #NationalParksWeek which honestly, basically every week is NP Week for us but I’m all for celebrating these wonderful places! I didn’t necessarily grow up going to the parks all the time, but we did make a few trips out to them throughout my childhood, and the more time I spend in these places as an adult, the more these photos mean to me. In this post; a photo of my family on my first trip to Yosemite at 6 years old...total over-stoker, my dad and I in Grand Teton National Park (my first National Park) at age 3, my mom and I in GTNP that same trip, and another from the Yosemite trip with my grandma and “California cousins” (that I’ve gotten to spend so much more time with since making Yosemite a second home).
The parks have become a lot more popular, and thus crowded, in recent years and now that we’re “regulars” it’s quite easy to be bitter and frustrated by the crowds, but I’ve had a few humbling moments that remind me that the amount of days I spend here, or the way I spend my time here, doesn’t give me any more ownership over others. Just the other day I was hiking in Arches with some friends and it was realllllly crowded. We waited for a parking spot and then started walking, and by the time we got to our destination we were pretty annoyed by all the people. A family pushed past me for a photo and I felt pretty grumpy, until I saw the mom frame up a photo of her kid with (I’m guessing) her father, and I remembered these meaningful photos I have...and I thought of how much that little boy will likely cherish that photo. I look at the last photo, my family all huddled at Tunnel View, and I think maybe we were loud...maybe we asked dumb questions and got in people’s way and ran around over-stoking and annoying the regulars. But that photo means the world to me, especially after my grandma, our constant travel buddy, passed away.
Now I try to be thankful for each person, especially each child in a park. I try to stop and offer to take a group photo so everyone is in it. I try to remind myself how glad I am they’re in Yosemite or Arches instead of walking around a mall or whatever else. I’m not perfect at this, but these photos always help.
May 5, 2019 | Moab, Utah
You know that thing where couples start to look more like each other as they age? I think I’m just doing that with the desert. Here’s me pretending to be a chameleon while I soak in the most magic flowers. Fall will always be my favorite season out here, but man the little flowers everywhere sure are making me loooooove spring. Also a ton of people have asked about these overalls (so influencer of me to say but seriously I mean it), they’re coming soon to @wyldergoods and you need them because I have worn them about 10 out of the last 14 days that I’ve owned them.
May 11, 2019 | Moab, Utah
Yesterday @theletabug and I went on a classic self-sandbagged Moab adventure questing out into the desert with some google maps screen shots and a lot of ambition as our only beta. Thelma the Jeep got us impressively far until the road proved much too difficult (v. steep and sandy) so we did 6.5 miles on foot (I made the classic mistake of wearing my vans thinking the hike was more like 2 miles 🤦🏼♀️) with no trail to follow and a few rock bands to scramble. But we made it, the view was incredible, and we’re already scheming our next adventure. Oh, and old man Charlie made the heinous trek too, proving once again that he’s the best dog ever!
We only have a couple more weeks here until we leave for the summer and it’s days like yesterday that make me pretty sad to leave but beyond stoked to have made this home. Thanks Aleta for the rad adventure and positive attitude 🎉🤸🏼♂️🥰
Oh yeah, and I’m still wearing these overalls almost every day. They’re about to be available on @wyldergoods site and you best believe I’ll let you know as soooooon as they’re up!
May 12, 2019 | Austin, Texas [via Moab, Utah]
The older I get, the more amazed I am by my mom. The closer I get to considering having kids of my own, the more I wonder if I could ever be half the mom she was. The more I hope I could maybe, possibly, magically, gain the patience, selflessness, and deep love that she showed us our entire lives. To grow up with two people who I never questioned if they loved me, I know now more than ever, that’s a major privilege. To have been shown through actions, not just told, that she loved me, she delighted in me, and still does...it’s probably had the biggest impact on me over anything else, but it can’t be measured or confirmed or denied, it just is. All I know is my brothers and I, and my dad, we’re the luckiest people on earth. To be her people...it’s one of the biggest gifts I’ve been given in this life.
I want to add. I am so hesitant to share this because, one, sometimes feelings on social media seem shallow but I hope these ones don’t. And two, I know not everyone reading this feels like the luckiest on earth today. I know some of you really miss your mom. Some of you wish your mom missed you...and for some of you it’s way too complicated to even begin. Some of you want to be a mom, some of you don’t. Some of you feel like a mom but no one is going to think of you today because what you’re doing isn’t traditional. I could go on, but my point is...I see you, and I’m thinking of you today, and I’m sorry if this holiday is a hard one. I hope my post didn’t make it harder.
🖤 I love you momma. Happy Mother’s Day.
May 21, 2019 | Moab, Utah
Yesterday was incredible. We got to fly a helicopter over Castle Valley 🤯 I have to say, I was pretty much losing my mind as soon as we got near the Convent, but then we flew between Sister Superior and the Rectory, and then we circled all the way around Castleton and it was truly one of the most incredible things I’ve ever done!! My biggest goal this season was to climb Castleton, and after checking that off I had a blast questing to view points around it for different perspectives, but flying over it like this was indescribable. It’s such a gorgeous formation. I am beyond stoked!
Callen’s parents were so kind to gift us this tour on their last day in Moab. I am very thankful!! If you’re in Moab (or know someone special coming through here) and want to splurge on something that will blow your mind, I highly recommend @moabhelicopters. Ben is an awesome pilot and tour guide...and this place is so cool to see from the sky!!!
June 16, 2019 | Grand Teton National Park [via Moab, Utah]
@dadstrickland || Last Father’s day I assumed I had a lot more of them with you. Less than a month later, our entire life turned upside down and at one point I didn’t know if I’d have another day with you, at all. It was one of the hardest weeks of my life, being so far away, having no idea what the future held, no idea if I’d regret finishing up my work in Alaska before coming home, no idea if I’d get to see you before surgery, no idea if brain surgery would change all of you. Gosh, that was scary. And to think that Fathers Day last year was just another normal Father’s Day...no idea what was around the corner. Today, I’m so thankful to still have you. And you’re still you. It’s so incredible. And you’re coming to California for Ben’s wedding this week!!!
This Fathers Day is still so hard, because the future is still so unknown, and the brain tumor is still there and it still sucks so. damn. much. But given our circumstances, and given our year...I am so thankful to be celebrating this Fathers Day with you (a few days late), and I am not taking this one for granted.
Dad, thanks for being the most supportive person I’ve ever known. Thank you for believing I was capable of greatness without ever pressuring it. Thank you for having high hopes without piling on high expectations. Happy Fathers Day @dadstrickland, you’re a damn good one. I can’t wait to rage this week with you 😜
June 16, 2019 | Salt Lake City, Utah
Last week @briannamadia texted me a video of the sunrise in the desert that day and I got sad because I missed Utah and we’re about to drive to Alaska and then back to California before we go back to Utah (I know, rough life 😅) so I asked what she was up to and invited myself over for a girls week. I’m hopping on a flight in Reno today and can’t wait to relax and drink boxed wine in a kiddie pool with this dude for a week (at least that’s what I hear is on the schedule). Will we get another set of matching clothes y/n?
Also, @callenhearne and Charlie will be exploring the PNW and hitting as many hot springs as possible before meeting back up with me in Seattle. Should they get matching outfits too?
July 10, 2019 [Part 1 of 2] | Moab, Utah
(Part 1 of 2) • “We’ll have enough days to drive a little farther west after the backpacking trip in Colorado. I want to check out this town in Utah, it’s called Moab, apparently it’s like a Mecca for rock climbing and stuff.” A casual conversation, less than five years ago, but as it turns out, it completely changed our lives.
We were newlyweds living in a master-planned community just north of Houston, Texas. I was trying to get a photography business going and Cal was the drummer in our church band and working part-time at REI. We rented the cheapest apartment in town but it still felt way too fancy for us (Cal had previously been living in a camper in a trailer park, but everyone encouraged him to get a real apartment when we got married...ha). We had a couch his parents bought us and a yeti cooler for living room furniture. Between our Subaru always covered in mud and outdoors-related stickers and often topped with a kayak, and our beater VW vanagon (that money pit is still our one regret #vivathevan 😂), we didn’t really fit The Woodlands vibe. I had come across a deal online for a hut-to-hut 30 mile backpacking trip in Colorado and figured it was a good way to get our feet wet with “big adventure.” We booked the huts and Callen took a weekend off, which meant we had two weeks for the trip. He planned a route up to Colorado and back through Utah and Arizona, with a stop in Moab. A place I’d never heard of.
By the time we got to Utah, we were pretty tired and sore, and it was late July. Someone in Grand Junction recommended the scenic route, and my first memory ever in Moab was thinking I could die of heat as the car bumped down the red dirt road to the Fisher Towers. We came to a stop and deliriously got out to marvel at the wild landscape before us. Callen was butt naked. There wasn’t another soul in sight. It’s funny, at the time I don’t think I even noticed Castleton Tower to my right...the tower now tattooed forever on my right arm (and to the right in this photo). Such is the epitome of our first visit to Moab.
•(See my next post for part 2)
July 10, 2019 [Part 2 of 2] | Moab, Utah
(Part 2 of 2, read my previous post first) • I’ve told this story a lot of times. How Moab wasn’t love at first visit for me, at least not on the surface. I was annoyed by the 114 degree heat that remained above 100 well into the night and left us sweating in our tent. I was terrified by the amount of black widows and scorpions my headlamp illuminated on the rocks. I was frustrated that Charlie couldn’t join on the hikes we did in Arches and Canyonlands National Parks. But...I was floored by the existence of harsh desert and snow-capped mountains in the same landscape. I was in a place I’d never seen, never dreamed of before. I thought, if this place weren’t so damn hot, maybe it would be worth re-visiting.
Well, unlike my home in Texas, Moab has four distinct seasons, and as it turns out, when we returned for a longer trip that October, I fell head over heels in love. We discovered BLM land, where most trails are dog-friendly and less crowded. We discovered you could drive down most dirt roads. (On the flip side, Texas, in all its expanse, is less than 5% public land. We grew up learning dirt roads are private.) We knew of National and State Parks, nothing else. We met some climbers and they offered up their top rope for an attempt at crack climbing. We drove deep into the mountains and found a road that brought us to a lake at 10,000 feet. We found a spot on a dirt road that remains our favorite place to watch sunset, just a short drive from what’s now our first house. During our down time, I read a Moab-related book that later inspired me to become a skydiver and is still engrained in my thoughts in all outdoor pursuits.
That first trip to Moab was formative, but the second one solidified a lot for us. The first one sparked our interest, but the second one created the obsession...the need to get back to Moab whenever possible. The eventual decision to make Moab our home base, because after all we’ve done and seen since that first trip, nowhere else has fully been a place we just couldn’t stand to leave. Except in the summers...we still avoid those 😉
(Photos: This spring in Moab before leaving for the summer, our first visit, our second visit.)
July 15, 2019
Complete awe. The glacial landscape feels so alive, so dynamic and unconcerned with our existence. I’ve never been more enchanted or humbled by a place than I was with this one. Standing beneath the massive towers of ice, as tall as buildings and as reliable as a house of cards, hearing the consistent crashing and thunder-like booms (usually reserved in my mind for rare, distant rockfall) echo throughout the valley every few minutes or seconds...a constant reminder that everything is shifting and changing and can change at any moment.
Glaciers, slower than slow rivers of ancient ice, often seem to me like a sped-up representation of geologic time. Towers and talus fields and caves and arches all forming in a matter of months over and over...it’s always amazed me how much I can learn observing these slow-fast beings. But this day watching this glacier, probably because of the timing in my life and the things my mind brought with me, it made me think more about life than geologic time. From what I’ve seen, life is more like the toe of a glacier than the face of a mountain. It moves more quickly, changes more often, is quite terrifying, sometimes downright soul-crushing, but remains really really beautiful through even the worst or most surprising changes.
This “life is like...” parallel could probably be wrapped up with something cheesy, maybe about how without glacial calving there would be no icebergs, but honestly, I’m not currently in a place to be glad for the crashing and calving. I’ll just stand here in awe and terror and hope it doesn’t kill me.
July 20, 2019 [Part 1 of 2]
(Part 1 of 2)
One year ago today, my brother called me with the worst news I’ve ever heard. He said a lot of things during that 30 minute call, but as I hung up the only things I could repeat back to Callen were, “Dad has a brain tumor. It’s very bad.”
We were in Alaska. So far away from Texas. In fact, we had an engagement session to shoot that evening…I literally got the news as we were driving to the session location from dinner with the couple. I was in shock, and told Callen we should go through with the session and discuss it afterwards. So in a mix of shock and strength (mostly shock), we truly enjoyed the 2 hour session with one of the sweetest couples. We wrapped up, drove to camp, and I cried myself to sleep quietly, wondering what the hell this meant.
You see, you hear of people having cancer. You know people that go through it, you have friends that lose a parent, but nothing, NOTHING can prepare you for that. For hearing it’s your own dad. For learning your family is now, with no warning, in the depths of cancer. The next few days were, in some ways, a blur and in some ways so visceral and remain clear in my memory. Speaking with Dad on the phone the night before he went in to make a plan with his oncologist, we didn’t know what the next day would hold. Emergency surgery? A suggestion to go live his best life? An apology that after all, it was just a smudge on the screen no cancer here? (we wish). I spoke with him late into the night, we said all the things you’d say as if it was your last chance to say them…although that wasn’t so rare for Dad, because he’s always been an open book with his emotions. This time just felt much more heavy. One year ago, I was in Alaska as I am right now, but one year ago my life was turned upside down...and as of right now the shock has mostly worn off...I’ve gotten a bit more used to that sudden loss of normalcy. And against the odds, Dad is still here.
See my next post for part 2 🖤 #dadstrickland
July 20, 2019 [Part 2 of 2]
Read my previous post first (Part 2 of 2)
The thing about grief is it typically doesn’t come all at once. At some point after hearing bad news, maybe minutes or maybe days later, it’ll really hit you. You’ll realize, shit, this is really happening. For me, it was when I called my best friend Katie two days later to tell her, and her response was so…serious. Weighty. I realized that this was, in fact, some of the worst news we could imagine. It began to sink in, I began to think about life without Dad. I began to think about how he’s the first person I want to call when something amazing happens. He’s the person I am most happy to make proud, still. He is always, always happy to discuss literally any topic, without judgement or end-goal to the discussion. He’s our computer guy, our confidant, our constant source of encouragement and affirmation, our story-teller and friend-maker. There will be a significant hole in my life without him one day.
Last July he was given three months to live with this tumor, but his successful surgery bought us more time. Against the odds, he is still here one year later. In fact, he and my mom are coming to visit us in Alaska in two weeks! And for this we are SO thankful. I can’t possibly express how wonderful this year with him has been, and how thankful we are for this time. But, what sucks so much about cancer is we can’t really celebrate. Because Dad is still sick. There is still a tumor. The diagnosis is still what it was, and we are still just as clueless about how much time we have. So we make the best of what we get, and we are thankful for it. But, our family is still grieving. And it’s exhausting. And grieving someone who is still here is so...complicated. And uncomfortable. And horrible. And then I feel guilty for saying that because some people would give anything to have their dad still here, even if he was sick. If that’s you, I’m sorry. I hope my words don’t make you sad or frustrated.
I am thankful for this year. And I hope we get more.
August 9, 2019 | Anchorage, Alaska
A little over a year ago, we drove up to Hatcher’s Pass carrying the new weight of the news of Dad’s brain tumor. It was the day after my brother had called to tell me, and we’d actually planned to skydive that day but all of a sudden choosing to do something so death-defying felt wrong in light of death seemingly knocking at our family’s door (my struggle with skydiving in the past year is probably more related to this than I’ll admit, but that’s a different topic..). I vividly remember driving up to this parking lot and encouraging Cal to head off on a hike so I could make some necessary phone calls (one thing you might not know about cancer showing up is: so. many. phone calls). I remember still being in complete shock. I paced around this parking lot, and finally called my best friend Katie, who basically considers my dad a parent of her own. I remember looking at everyone else around and thinking “they have no idea I just found out my dad has terminal cancer.” I remember calling Katie and hearing her quiet voice receive the news and for some reason her response really validated my emotions and helped me acknowledge that this was, in fact, horrible news.
Later the next day, I talked with dad late into the night and we still all had a lot of unanswered questions. Because of the circumstances, we both believed it could be our last conversation, and we treated it as such.
I’ve shared more of the story in my ‘highlights’, but this past year since then has been...a lot. And to keep from rambling too too much, I just have to say that visiting Hatcher’s Pass yesterday with both of my parents was a pretty amazing, full-circle experience. Our family is in no way “out of the woods” with this cancer shit. But this week my parents are in Alaska, the very place my whole world turned inside out last year, and other than the need for a walker sometimes, it all feels very normal and amazing.
I believe that a year ago, while I was pacing and wondering and feeling scared in this parking lot, God knew I’d be here with dad a year later. I’m very thankful. #dadstrickland
August 19, 2019 | Patagonia [via Alaska]
Yesterday was 9 years since our first date, so…here’s an ode to Callen.
To know him is to love him…and to hear him speak for the first few times (or read any of his insta captions) is to wonder if you’re speaking the same language. He makes friends with everyone, and even the crustiest of crustys eventually finds themselves crying laughing about something he’s said.
He’s a professional gumby, the most eclectic person I know, and is always in pursuit of the unusual. He’s been known to climb on OG forged friends, taught himself to aid climb with all used gear on church bowl tree by watching YouTube and FaceTiming more knowledgeable friends (in fact, I remember him once calling my brother @ben_rhodeland from the top of a climb to check his anchor...), jokes about his three-time “couch-to-El Cap experience,” and pretty much always picks the not-quite-normal version of gear or adventure. He thrives on being an amateur at everything, but can hold his own in more outdoor sports than (almost) anyone else I know.
He has absolutely no ego. He’s not competitive and he’s not threatened by others’ successes. When it comes to achieving your own goals, Callen is the best support system you could ever imagine. He’s supported me in countless pursuits from learning to skydive to building our dream photography business. He’s supported his friends in big and small rock climbing feats, professional goals, personal goals, last-minute adventure ideas, silly plans and serious plans. His closest people always know they can rely on him.
I’ve said it 100 times, and I’ll likely say it 1 million more, but I truly have no idea where I’d be in life without Callen Hearne. Knowing what I know about myself, I don’t think I’d be living so boldly, achieving such big dreams, or friends with many of the incredible people I love if it weren’t for him. I’m really glad Katie and I brought roller blades to church camp, and I’m really glad the 🔥hot drummer🔥 came to show us some tricks on them. Happy 9 years of being my boyfriend, @callenhearne. Here’s to at least 100 more.
August 21, 2019 | Seward, Alaska
We took an intro to mountaineering course yesterday and it was so freakin cool! Callen has been wanting to do this for a while, and I have a few adventure dreams that require mega glacier travel, so we finally took a big step forward and learned the stuff we need to know!
At first, I honestly wasn’t sure if I wanted to do the course. For outdoor adventures I’ve pretty much always taken the “second” role, mainly because I’ve always hiked/climbed/canyoneered with people that have more experience than me. It’d be easy to keep cruising that way, but as our objectives grow it’s important for me to learn the essentials too. Especially in mountaineering, I need to know how to rescue my partner if something happened! I want to take more initiative as a climber and start really learning everything for myself instead of getting “guided” by friends. Today was a big step in that direction, and as odd as it may sound it felt really cool to be an equal with Callen while we learned together. It was super empowering to do things like build my own anchor, ascend the rope, and walk across the ice roped in as part of our trio. Callen was in heaven. It was so much fun, but mentally I was pretty on the fence about it all while we were out there (so much objective danger in these activities...), but now that we’re back I can’t stop thinking about next time we get to go out and play on some ice 🙃
Thank you so much to @tkreznar at @exitglacierguides! Such an awesome day!!
August 30, 2019 | Alaska
PSA for my fellow basic b’s 💁🏼♀️ Please read to the end 😉
I’m a Starbucks gold member, and I really like pumpkin spice lattes (although I kinda burned out on them one fall in college when I discovered I could get them with my dining dollars). I enjoy shopping and putting cute outfits together. I like when my outdoor clothes match/coordinate. I like photos of myself doing things I love. I naturally have platinum blonde hair. I love avocado toast, charcuterie, and always wanna try the hip new foods people get stoked on. Even though I only wear make up a few days a year, I really like it and often feel more confident with it on. I watch the bachelor/ette, I absolutely love Taylor Swift and can sing pretty much all of her songs word-for-word, and I think the Kardashians are actually really interesting people that can teach us a lot about our current culture. I could go on...
I also live in a truck camper and have been to 41 National Parks around the world, 13 countries, and 23 states. I jump out of airplanes solo (even though I’m extremely risk adverse). Every spring and fall, my hands are often scabbed and bloody from my love of desert crack climbing. I’ve stood on the top of a sandstone tower the size of a dinner plate with a 400 foot drop all around me. I have built an extremely successful business that sustains me and my husband, and allows us to travel the world and try new things often (like ice climbing or flying a helicopter just this month). I haven’t lived in one place for more than 3 months in the past 3 years.
None of these things are exclusive of the other. You can be outdoorsy and wear make up. You can travel the world and love Starbucks. You can love being a couch potato and enjoy pushing yourself on a climb. I joke about being a “basic b” but the truth is, I’m far from basic, and so are you. We’re complicated beings. We grow and change, we love what we love, and for the most part, we’re all doing the best we can to be ourselves and be good to others. When we start thinking we know someone because we’ve learned a few things about them, we begin to forget how complex we can be. Just be you 🖤
September 2, 2019 | Gates of the Arctic National Park
Flying into Gates of the Arctic National Park was a once in a lifetime experience and I’m so thankful we were able to do it. It’s the northernmost national park in the US and sees about 10,000 visitors a year (the Grand Canyon has about 6mil, for reference). It has no roads, trails, or campgrounds. The only way to access it is by foot (long-distance hiking) or by plane. It’s the second largest park in the US (second only to Wrangell-St. Elias, also in Alaska) at 13,238 square miles...11.3 times Yosemite’s size, 3.8 times Yellowstone.
I remember the first time I heard of Gates of the Arctic. I was so fascinated by it, I spent hours scrolling through google images and figured I’d never see it for myself because it was so far away. But a lot has changed since then! On Saturday, we chartered a plane from Fairbanks, flew over to the Arrigetch Peaks (which have been compared to Yosemite and did not disappoint) and explored more of the epic Brooks Range before landing in Anaktuvuk Pass for a lunch break (yes, casual picnic within the arctic circle), then flew back in time to nap, shower, and eat dinner before the wild northern lights show that night.
Alaska continues to surprise us. This place is huge, and the more we see the more we realize how little we’ve seen. I am so blown away by the beauty here, the perfect fall colors (in August! What!), the vastness, and the lure to keep exploring. I’ll be surprised if we’re not back here for another two months next summer. Oh also, Charlie loved the plane. I’m pretty sure he just thought it was a car. He’s a perfect road pup, I should have known he’d be a perfect air pup too!
September 13, 2019 [Part 1 of 2] | Alaska
Another 2 part post, because I couldn’t fit everything into 10 slides and one caption (sorry guys, I assume at this point none of y’all follow me for my brevity 😜)
(Part 1 of 2) Today, we’ll cross the border back into the lower 48, which kind of feels like the “official” end to our 2nd Annual Great Summer Alaskan Roadtrip™. I’m feeling really nostalgic, a little (actually, a lot) sad to be leaving the Canadian Rockies, and reflecting on the incredible past two months.
We crossed into Canada on July 6th, marking the beginning of the road trip, and since then we’ve driven almost 10,000 miles through British Columbia, Yukon, Alaska, and Alberta. We explored new places and re-visited favorites, made new friends and spent quality time with a lot of old friends, some local to Alaska and some traveling from all over to come play. My parents came up for a week, my mom got to re-live the summer she spent here in college in 1976, my dad got to see his first (real big) glacier, they both rode in their first helicopter, and we showed them some of our favorite places. (Continued in the next post) ❄️
September 13, 2019 [Part 2 of 2] | Alaska
(Part 2 of 2, see previous post) ❄️ On this trip, we explored a drained iceberg lake, drove endless dirt roads to the most mega views, kayaked with floating bergs, did some rock climbing, rode in a few helicopters for our job (@thehearnes), got pulled by sled dogs on a glacier (and played with their puppies), stayed up too late with friends a lot of nights, binge watched all the Harry Potter movies in a couple of days, interrupted Half Blood Prince to see the northern lights for the first time, then watched them until 3am on a cold balcony. We picked up my parents and explored the mountain pass I’d spent my first couple of days processing my dad’s terminal cancer diagnosis one year prior (so surreal). We spent a lot (but never enough) nights and mornings around @theadamsco kitchen table, staying up late, waking up late, enjoying good food and great conversations. We learned how to explore glaciers safely, learned how to ice climb, felt the glacier move under our feet (our first “ice quake”), learned a little about flying a helicopter, each tried flying and were both 100% gripped. We experienced the first signs of fall in August, saw the Northern Lights full on in Fairbanks, flew a little plane to the Arctic and visited a major bucket list National Park. We hiked to hot springs in Canada, explored more of the Canadian Rockies, hiked onto a glacier and found a little icy slot canyon that reminded us of home, and re-visited old favorite places, but this time with amazing couples for the best job in the world!
So, while I know the adventure sure isn’t over...and I’m excited to be one step closer to getting home to Moab for Utah’s fall (a little later than Alaska Fall!), I wanted to put all these memories in one place. I’m so thankful for the life that allowed these last two months. What a dream. Until next time, Alaska! 🖤
October 8, 2019 | Alaska
I try my best to keep things real here, but no matter what, social media is just a highlight reel. I say that, yet even I need that reminder often. So, here’s a bit of truth for you guys today:
I miss Moab so much and can’t wait to be home, but I’m also devastated to be leaving Yosemite in three days. I also feel overwhelming guilt about even mentioning that, because how can I possibly be anything but happy when this is my life?
I have periodic meltdowns about the pressure on me as a “social media figure” and how easily I could go viral for the wrong thing. I see articles about people that did something wrong and their name was plastered all over the internet about it and that terrifies me because I’m not perfect.
I worry about how this online world is affecting my real world. I wonder if I’ll ever truly know, because they’re so intertwined.
I share a lot of my personal life on here, but there is a lot I choose not to share. It’s a weird line to walk. I never know if I’m doing too much.
Despite having a dream job, a dream life, and waking up in all my favorite places for the past four years, sometimes I wake up really really sad and can barely move. I am a problem solver, and I desperately try to pinpoint why I’m sad, but I can’t figure it out, and that makes me frustrated.
I constantly wonder what value I bring to my friendships. I wonder why my friends want me around, if my friends want me around, and I worry it’ll change if I change.
Skydiving makes me so happy and has made me feel so strong and confident, but it also terrifies me and I haven’t jumped since May. I know I should go again and just get back into it, but I’m scared.
Some days I am really really happy. All the stress melts away, I have a healthy perspective on the things that are difficult, and I feel motivated and stoked for the future. That more typically happens after good days with friends.
I am pretty sure all of this is relatable and normal. Which is where I find the beauty in social media. Because any of these things can be so isolating if we believe the lie that it’s only us. So I hope if you related to at least one thing on this list, you know you’re not alone 🖤
October 11, 2019 | Moab, Utah
Social media can certainly be a life-sucker sometimes, but there are times like this week, seeing people’s stories and thoughts for #MentalHealthAwareness, when I’m really encouraged by this platform and the power it holds.
I hope we can continue to see Mental Health as very similar to physical health. That sometimes we are well, and sometimes we are sick, and sometimes we are Sick. Some of us are born with terrible sicknesses, that we fight our entire lives. Some of us are diagnosed with life-long sickness at a young age, some when we’re 65 (still too young btw). This sickness doesn’t discriminate. This sickness affects our families, our friends, anyone who loves us. Some live their whole lives in chronic pain never receiving a diagnosis. Some are lucky enough to be healthy their whole lives.
Mental Health is not different. Mental Health is not something you can over come by trying hard, just like Cancer is not something you can will away.
Just like physical sickness, it affects everyone differently, and a “cure” can look different for each person. I know people who have improved their mental health by finding a passion in skydiving, or rock climbing, or hiking. I also know people who have found passion in all those things and still suffer, and those people are no less strong.
Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder...these things do not discriminate, they do not affect people in the same way, they are not currently treated in the same way across different people. While life events can certainly bring these sicknesses on, or make them worse, or cause them to flare up, they can also come out of nowhere, and no person suffering in their Mental Health is to blame for their suffering.
If a friend told you they had Cancer, you wouldn’t reply “Just go outside more!” (at least I hope not...I can say my dad has received some dumbass advice on how to cure his brain tumor but that’s a different conversation 🙄). With sickness, and Sickness...mindset is certainly important. But it is not a cure-all. We must remove this stigma. We must stop putting the burden of a cure or treatment on the people who are suffering. This affects all of us.
November 7, 2019 | Southern Utah
I don’t know what it is about desert towers. I know I tend to personify landscapes, sometimes to a fault. I look at them and feel so much love and magic deep in my bones that I find myself assuming they feel it for me too. I am not really sure if that’s true. How could we ever really know? But something about these desert towers...I feel it stronger than anywhere else. I sometimes fall asleep thinking about them. When I’m upset I want to run to them as if they can comfort me. Some of my happiest moments have been around them.
I know, that may be too woo-woo for some of you. But I also know that some of you relate...and maybe we’ll never know if these places love us back, but honestly, that will never stop me from loving them. Because they’ve given me so much, and in the darker moments of life, I find comfort knowing they’ll still stand tall long after I’m gone.
November 23, 2019 | Iceland
I remember the first time I ever saw a photo of someone paddling between icebergs. It was one of those far-off adventures that looked amazing but I figured I’d never do. I am a recovering pessimist of my own abilities, and I have to admit most times I’ve seen an adventure photo that fired me up, I immediately assumed I couldn’t/wouldn’t/shouldn’t even dream of doing the thing. But these past few years I’ve gone places I never thought I’d go, and I’ve done things I assumed I wouldn’t get to do. We’ve learned and grown, met amazing people, and tried new things.
At this point, I’ve paddled around icebergs in Patagonia, Alaska, and Iceland. I have kept a healthy fear of them. They’re unpredictable and the water is dangerously cold, and the boat is quite small compared to a giant block of moving ice. But something about floating among them...hearing them drip and change, finding hand-size pieces to scoop up, occasionally running aground on an underwater connecting point thinking you were going between two bergs 😅 (in this photo, I’m pretty sure the two dark bergs I’m “between” are actually connected. Wild)....it’s such an amazing experience. I still struggle with that self-doubt often, and it’s important for me to reflect and remind myself of the things I’ve already done, the times I’ve already proven my doubts wrong. You can learn to do hard things. You can be intimidated by something while still trusting yourself to gain new abilities. Nobody was born knowing how to rock climb or go canyoneering or take nice photos. We must learn these things. We can learn these things.
Safety note: Always wear a life jacket when paddling. Icebergs are unpredictable, please do your research before ever trying this. Never paddle under overhanging pieces or near bergs that are frequently turning/moving. Never paddle close to the face of a glacier. People die every year from calving glaciers. The waves from a calving glacier can affect you miles away. Know the conditions and dangers of the places you’re exploring and address them accordingly. There are a lot of opportunities for guided paddling trips around icebergs/glaciers, I highly recommend doing that first! ❄️
December 6, 2019 | Baja California
One week ago today, I texted our friend Mark to check in on him and Jordan down in Baja where Mark spends his winters. He said they were doing well, and then he sent a photo of their campsite. I laughed out loud and showed everyone in the room — it was blue skies and palm trees for them! We had been rained out for a week in Moab and were feeling a bit stir crazy. I asked Mark where we’d fly to to see them, mainly as a joke, and well one thing led to the next and...we bought tickets that evening.
After the flight delay from SLC and the limited options for new flights, we actually spent more time traveling for this than actually on the ground in Baja, but as we know, time tends to be a strange thing and these 36 hours on the beach with our buddies, walking in the sand, snorkeling in the warm water, soaking up sunshine and waves and afternoon naps, not opening my computer once, playing stupid drinking games and having too much tequila...it sure felt like a full 36 hours. I’m thankful.
Honestly, I feel a bit guilty even telling that story because I realize the huge privilege in doing such a thing. It’s certainly not meant to brag, or to seem haphazard — but I truly believe spending quality time with people we love is one of the most valuable things we can “buy.” I’m so grateful to have a job and lifestyle that allows silly trips like this to work 🖤 And now back to real life to catch up on a week of emails, edit our last few photo galleries of the year, and snuggle lil Char! And hoping the next Baja trip is a little more dialed, and at least a few days longer 😜
December 10, 2019 | Moab, Utah
You never know what someone is going through.
It’s such a common phrase, one I remember hearing my entire life. It’s often used when a stranger is rude to someone, but we all know it goes beyond that. I remember when I got on a plane back home from Alaska a week after learning my dad had a brain tumor. It was a long day of travel, and I mostly just went zombie-mode to make my way through it. But there were moments when I looked around amazed that all these humans could be here, and none of them knew how sad I was. It was lonely and strange. I wanted to tug the woman next to me and tell her everything. Maybe for sympathy, maybe so she’d give me a hug? Who knows. I just felt so deeply sad, and so alone.
I remember sitting in the hospital with him, checking social media when he napped, and someone messaged me a small criticism. It was innocent enough, they probably meant well, but I was so tempted to reply telling them where I was and why, and letting them sit in that guilt, but I knew it wouldn’t do anything to help me. I ignored the message (and now I mostly know better than to scroll here when I’m feeling sad).
I’ve dealt with some hard things this year. I’m sure you have too. I’ve had moments that I felt like a fraud for maintaining a bright and lovely social media feed while lying in my bed too sad to sleep but too sad to get up. I worry about sharing too much of that, we don’t yet know if this over-sharing and vulnerability to fifty thousand strangers is damaging us or helping us. I imagine both, in some ways.
I could go on, but my point is...this little hand-held picture is not the full picture. You are seeing a small portion, no matter how much I share. Remember that when someone you follow says something you don’t like and you’re tempted to correct them. Or when they share something that seems perfect and ideal, and you’re tempted to envy them. Remember that while this is absolutely real (in the sense that I, Abbi, am typing this out today for you to read), it’s not everything. There are things about me that are only shared face to face with my people. There are things I haven’t yet shared with anyone, ever. This is true for everyone you follow 🖤
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The Hearnes Adventure Photography is run by Abbi and Callen Hearne, a husband & wife wedding photography team with an emphasis on adventure. They live on the road as full-time nomads, allowing them to serve a large portion of the western US. You can typically find them in Moab, Utah or Yosemite National Park, California, with side-quests to wild places like Patagonia, Alaska, or the Swiss Alps. They believe love is the greatest adventure and strive to create photos that are epic, romantic, true, and timeless.
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